Who am I minus the stuff ?

Starting over can be the most difficult yet necessary thing for anyone to do. It means releasing all that you know for a world unknown and ultimately hoping for the best. Oftentimes as humans, we hold on for so long that we sometimes force God to release it all for us. In this scenario, I would have preferred to let it all go on my own but my lack of trust in my intuition did not allow me to make those crucial decisions without some guidance. I was stuck between a mediocre life and extravagant debts and one or the other would be the victor in the end. God stepped in and released them along with a floodgate of emotions. So, seemingly all at once, I was released from a karmic relationship, underemployment, a car, an apartment, most of my large possessions, a few friendships, and an ideal belief that somehow those relationships I’d built that I placed so much value in would save me from myself–they didn't, they couldn't. I needed to know MYSELF. I had to save MYSELF. There was no one to blame but MYSELF. That realization alone crushed me daily. In knowing that for 30 years I’d focused on all the wrong things and somehow I had to unlearn them and relearn ME. Being released from it all didn't magically bring me relief because they’d left lasting impacts behind and by all accounts, I was worse off than when I started. I had to do the work! I was back at mom’s house, in the same debt, without the slightest idea as to what I’d do next, other than pray. So praying is what I did, I meditated, I dreamed, I planned and I prepared for whatever was next. Currently, I still have no idea of the excellence my future holds but I trust that every day without overwhelming my life with expectations or limitations; I’ll take one step closer to doing what makes me happy. I’m now blatantly aware of where I don't want to be and the things I don't want to do. I am cognizant of what calms me when I'm stressed and what frees me when I'm feeling stuck. I am more conscious of what triggers me and more mindful of how I can trigger others. My self-awareness is a work in progress but my self-worth has no glass ceiling!